I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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