I am puke
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
