remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
