The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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