There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
