How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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