I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
