so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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