All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
