i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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