Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
