a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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