im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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