I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize