Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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