i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
