Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
