Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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