Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
