I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
