It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
