Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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