she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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