sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Terrible idea I love it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
