i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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