I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
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