I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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