when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
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Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Bring me that man meat
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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