..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
