i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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