remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
