omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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