No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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