no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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