i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
