Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
please come you make the beer taste better
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She's the barista slut.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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