so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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