I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We are all done wearing pants today
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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