I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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