Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
that is very illegal...i love you.
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