remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
