Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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