I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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