I looked at my own cervix.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
