you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
