idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He shit in the fireplace
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
