she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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