you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
