tell your sister to shave her snatch
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
