i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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