Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
