look no pants
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
