between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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