Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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