Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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