he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
