I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
