I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
