I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
