Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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