My first STD was from a foam party
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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